When Love Takes Over
by MissAmyR92
Summary: This includes hints of a female/female relationship - Jac/Connie. Please read and I hope you enjoy it. The lyrics included in the final chapter in bold are from How by Maroon 5. Now complete.
1. Chapter 1

**I'm back! A big thank you to everyone who has reviewed my stories; I can't believe I haven't written since last November! But I'm back now, and hopefully I will be writing a lot more. ****This piece includes a female/female relationship theme so if that's not your sort of thing, now's the time to leave! ****I haven't tried this pairing before, but I hope you like it as much as I do. Just to let you know that this chapter is written from Jac's point of view. Thank you! Amy x**

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**When Love Takes Over**

**Chapter One**

If I had been forced to work alongside Connie Beauchamp a mere few months ago, I would have recoiled in horror. I'd have attempted train spotting if it meant avoiding the wrath of the appropriately-dubbed 'Ice Queen.' I admit I was completely amazed when she began throwing the odd compliment in my direction. I was even more amazed to discover that I enjoyed being praised by her. I mean, everyone loves a bit of recognition, right? But for some reason, there was something remarkably different about the feeling of appreciation when Connie was responsible for it.

I can't deny the fact that I have a great deal of respect for Mrs Beauchamp. Okay, so there's no chance of her winning any awards for friendliness or subtlety, but in a strange way I like that about her. Her confident demeanour and quick wit are definitely winning traits. She never shies away from speaking her mind, something which would result in trouble for any other member of the team, but not Connie. No one would dare to cross her, unless they had a death wish.

When I heard that the bold, brassy brunette had been teamed up with me for the day, I started to believe that I must have a death wish myself. Especially when it transpired that she had actually requested to work with me! I can't deny I was practically paralysed with fear when that was revealed. It's an unusual thing, the power that Connie has over mere mortals such as us registrars. Being in her presence is the definition of a numinous experience.

I think it's safe to say that she and myself have established an excellent rapport, as well as a sort of mutual respect. I believe we have some form of bond, only work related though. Nothing where personal matters or emotion are concerned, neither of us bring our home lives to work. I've always believed that your personal opinions and feelings should be kept distant from your job. Although I can't help but wish that Connie didn't follow those rules so strictly. Everyone seems to know everyone's business in the hospital, in fact I'm sure I could reel off a fact about each one of my colleagues off the top of my head, but not Mrs Beauchamp. There's something highly attractive about her element of mystery. That's not to say I wouldn't jump at the chance to discover more about her.

Sure it's possible for work relationships to reinvent themselves as personal ones. I've experienced that first hand, not that it worked out to be beneficial for me. In every relationship I have ever been a part of, the most important factor is that the partnership must be beneficial to me in some way. Especially for my career. There is always a connection though, preferably a professional rather than intimate one. Intimate relationships have never worked for me. I'm sure they're great for certain people, I'm just not one of them. I'm independent, I work alone, I don't need anyone else holding me back. I've tried to make a relationship work but to be honest, I'm not sure I know how. Apparently you have to put effort into a partnership, "work at it." I clearly haven't met the right person, someone who I'd be willing to make an effort to love, to change my independent ways for, to cherish.

Joseph Byrne. The prime example of what happens when I try to participate in a relationship. I fell in love with the excitement, the adrenaline rush, lust. But not Joseph. I wasn't interested in settling down like he was. All I was interested in was the effects that sleeping with the boss would have on my career. I guess I just tried to have my cake and eat it, sleeping with both father and son! I'll try anything if it means boosting my career. It definitely wasn't the brightest idea I've ever conjured up, but the thrill of the chase was probably worth the end result. Okay so sleeping with some old guy probably doesn't sound like anyone else's idea of a thrill, but it was just sex. It meant nothing, less than nothing in fact. No it wasn't enjoyable, but it got me where it wanted to be, for a little while at least. I'm not denying it was exciting having two rich, well-respected gentlemen lusting after me, it's not every day that happens to someone like me. Connie, on the other hand, the majority of the hospital worships the ground she walks upon. Possibly not for the same reasons as myself.

I know I'm often heard saying that I like a challenge. Sure, if there's a medical conundrum, I'm first in line to try and solve it. But I can't help but wish some aspects of life were a little less tricky. This emotion known as love for example. I can't be certain that I've ever truly experienced love. I have thought that I have felt loved by someone else, but how do I know? I've definitely never been in love, not in the way that it's described by others or read about in novels. I'm aware of what lust and passion are, more than aware. But love and romance? I'm a total novice. God that scares me, the fact that I can't understand or apply a basic human emotion. To put it simply, I don't understand love. What it is, what it does, how it makes you feel. So many unanswered questions.

The fact that I'm practically clueless when it comes to understanding love makes this situation even harder to fathom. Never mind the fact that the thought of homosexuality hadn't even crossed my mind before this, and now I'm trying to come to terms with the possibility of being bisexual, maybe even homosexual. I feel as if I'm having to choose a category to be a part of. I can't even begin to explain how the realisation first dawned upon me. I don't understand it myself, not in the slightest.

The emotions I'm experiencing appear to be similar, if not identical, to those apparently experienced when someone is "in love." That's the conclusion I have come to anyway, based on my comparisons with romantic novels, those cheesy love songs and other people's accounts, so I could be entirely wrong. Even though I have such little knowledge of love, something tells me that it's possible. I think I'm in love. With Connie Beauchamp.

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**Thanks for reading! Whether you enjoyed it or not, all reviews are greatly appreciated. Amy x**


	2. Chapter 2

**Many thanks for the lovely reviews I received for chapter one, they really do make me smile. Here's chapter two for you, written from Connie's POV this time. Enjoy.**

I admit it, the phrase 'what on Earth are you thinking?' did enter my mind as I volunteered myself to work alongside registrar Jac Naylor for the day. As two very strong and passionate women, we've never exactly seen eye to eye. I think it's safe to say we've disagreed more times than I care to remember. But there's definitely something about her I admire. Maybe it's the fact that we share such a desire to succeed and a great passion for the work that we do? Although sometimes, some how, it can feel more than that.

I see a lot of myself in Jac. She's a very talented young woman, with the potential to definitely go far with her career. I respect the way she distances her personal life from her work, I believe it's very important to distinguish between the two. She does have a habit of grating on others around her though; she can come across as rude and abrupt with her cold exterior. I get the impression that she doesn't mean to present herself in that way, perhaps she's just so keen to develop her career? Or maybe that's just the way she is and always has been? Maybe I'll never know. I'll try damn hard to find out though.

In a way I can understand her behaviour after the situation with her mother. Before she arrived, not one person at Holby was aware of what had happened in her childhood, or about any of her past at all to be honest. I feel a little guilty that I haven't taken the time before now to try and get to know Jac on a personal level. Maybe if someone had listened and taken an interest in her past then perhaps it wouldn't have got to the point it did. I don't know the ins and outs of her relationship with her mother, all I hear is hospital gossip, but I do feel for her. She's an incredibly private and proud individual, as am I, and I know I wouldn't be happy with people knowing about my family through such petty gossip.

I think myself and Jac may actually have a fair amount in common. Not necessarily obvious aspects but I'd like to believe that we're fairly similar people. Granted she's not a consultant like myself with a young child at home, but we're both hard working and determined women. We share a strong passion for this hospital and a dislike for slackers and those who waste time. On the surface, we both come across as frosty and unapproachable, and as if we've both got our lives completely worked out. In reality, I'm almost certain Jac sits at home alone each night with a microwaveable meal for one, wishing she wasn't quite so lonely, exactly as I do. It seems almost ludicrous for us both to be just so alone every night.

Part of me thinks that the unusual decision to pair up with Jac today was an attempt to get to find out a little more about the so-called Queen of Mean. I don't believe she's as 'mean' as she's made out to be, it's simply others trying to judge a book by its cover. I think underneath all her cutting comments and often blatant rudeness there's a kind, caring woman. And I'm determined to find her.

**So what do you think? Would you like to see Connie and Jac's relationship develop into maybe something more? Please review whether you enjoyed the chapter or not! **


	3. Chapter 3

**A big thank you to everyone who has reviewed, I really do appreciate it. This chapter is for you. **

**A/N This chapter is from Jac's point of view.**

I have a confession to make. I'm going to miss working alongside Connie. Tomorrow is the final day of our partnership, our professional partnership obviously, before Mrs Beauchamp takes a month-long sabbatical. I can't deny that I've thoroughly enjoyed the time we have spent working as a team. I overheard one of the irritating F1s labelling us the 'dynamic duo' which I must admit, I found highly amusing as well as feeling proud that our strong work relationship had been recognised amongst our colleagues. Connie continued to shower me with compliments, which from any other consultant I would have seen as patronising, but the feeling of appreciation she has given me has been overwhelming. Throughout our short time as a double act, I've witnessed the ice crack and melt away to reveal the warm, kind woman beneath it. The consultant even discussed some aspects of her personal life with me, if only briefly, but I felt truly honoured to hold such precious information. It's a beautiful feeling to be trusted and appreciated by someone you admire.

Something awkward, and simply strange, happened this afternoon between Connie and myself. It was an ordinary action that staff in the medical profession encounter many times per shift, but the experience we shared was different. Whilst examining a patient, Mrs Beauchamp asked for his notes which I was holding. As the file changed hands our fingers casually brushed, just for a millisecond, but I'm certain I felt a bolt of electricity shoot from my hand to hers. I'm also certain Connie experienced a similar thing, as she looked directly into my eyes at the exact same time that I looked to her. For that brief moment, it was as if our eyes were locked together, I didn't want to look away and break the virtual contact. The encounter was over in a matter of seconds although it felt like a life time.

Neither of us spoke about the incident after that. In fact, the day continued exactly as normal, which I was a little disappointed with if I'm honest. Connie seemed to slot back into her 'Ice Queen' routine, putting up a barrier between us as if she were defending herself from me. Maybe she didn't want to admit to feeling something as we touched? I so desperately wanted to speak to her about that intimate moment we shared but I knew Connie certainly wouldn't appreciate discussing private matters at work and I respect that. But how do I pluck up the courage to arrange to speak to her outside of Holby City? I may be as tough as old boots as the saying goes but I highly doubt I will ever be able to reveal my true feelings to her. Besides, even if I did, I'm sure as Hell my love for Connie Beauchamp wouldn't be reciprocated.

Yes, I said it. Love. Having pondered over that emotion for so long, I even wondered if it even existed at one point, I have come to the decision that I do in fact feel that very emotion, love, for Mrs Beauchamp. If I'm honest, I think I've loved her for some time but I had dismissed it as admiration and respect for a colleague. I believe that rush of electricity between us confirmed my emotions as I've often heard lovers say they've experienced something similar. I just wish Connie felt the same way about me, but the chances of that happening are ridiculously slim...but it's not entirely impossible, right?

I need to tell her. Before she goes away.


	4. Chapter 4

**Again, many thanks for all your reviews, they really are appreciated. **

**A/N This chapter is from Connie's point of view.**

It's odd to think that this time tomorrow, I'd have handed the Holby reigns over to my replacement, only temporarily of course. It is certainly going to be a strange feeling, being away from the hospital for four whole weeks. Especially for someone as work focused as myself where my job takes centre stage alongside my daughter. If I'm honest, the only reason I decided to take a sabbatical was the fact that I had outstanding holiday that needed to be taken. I know it's only a month but I sure will miss the place. I'll miss arriving at work to find Elliot tucking into a doughnut whilst singing along to Radio Two. I'll even miss the irritating specimens known as F1s and the obnoxious patients who believe they know best. The one thing I'm certain I'll miss is working with Jac Naylor.

After tomorrow, we would have worked as a team for just a week but I already feel I know her more. She's taken to working alongside me far better than I imagined she would and I'm very pleased about that. I've discovered just how great a registrar she really is as well as how warm-hearted a person she can be once you've stripped off the layers and found her true self. She's as much the 'Queen of Mean' as I am the 'Ice Queen.' We're very similar in that we've both been perceived wrongly by others and that's how alter egos such as those are created. You should never judge a book by its cover; the meaning, the detail, the content – they're the important aspects.

I admit I'm as guilty as the rest of them for believing Jac to be cold and bitter. Hence why I arranged to partner her this week. I can't explain what it is but a part of me wanted, needed to get to know Ms Naylor on a deeper level. It was like a strong craving, one that gnaws at you until you satisfy it. Why didn't I, couldn't I, accept Jac to be naturally cold, the way everyone else has? Why is it impossible for me to explain why I needed to dig deeper for more information about some registrar? I think that's just the problem; to me, Jac Naylor is not just another registrar.

I'm shocked to even find myself conjuring up these thoughts. I've had these feelings pop up repeatedly throughout the duration of the few days we've spent working together but as they passed in a blink of an eye, I never gave them a second thought. These thoughts. They're irrational, uncontrollable, confusing. She briefly smiles; I can't resist smiling back. She looks in to my eyes; I'm drawn to her and can't bear to look away. We briefly brushed fingers exchanging a file this afternoon and I gasped, I could swear I felt an electric current swimming through my veins. I'm always fully in control of my thoughts and emotions, but not now. That terrifies me, but excites me at the same time.

The more time I give these thoughts, the further they develop and expand, consuming my mind. I've lost the ability to think about anything else. Even practical things seem to have taken a step back, replaced by thoughts of Jac Naylor. I tried to watch the television but the characters' features reminded me of hers. Every word said on the radio was replayed in my head, but with Jac speaking it. My emotions won't allow me to ignore my thoughts, or vice versa. If I'm sure of one thing, I know I can't withstand this for a whole month, not without her knowing.

No matter what I do, I cannot remove Jac from my system. I suppose that's what happens when love takes over.


	5. Chapter 5

It's the middle of October, but with the air as bitterly cold as it is, you'd think it was nearer Christmas. As I sit in my car, still wearing the shirt and black trousers I wore to work, I begin to wish I'd brought a coat, or at least a pair of gloves. The barely warm air blasting through the heaters isn't making a difference to my goose-pimpled arms. I've been sat in this position for nearly half an hour now and my fingers are turning to ice. My teeth are chattering of their own accord and the tip of my nose looks as if it belongs to Rudolph. I take, yet another, deep breath. I let out a sigh. If only telling someone you have feelings for them was as easy as it sounds on paper.

I've pictured it in my head, over and over. I walk into her apartment, no beating about the bush, and I say how I feel. If she reacts badly, then I just leave. I wish it was as straight forward as that.

I can't stay in this car for much longer. I've been here so long that my legs have seized up, my bones ache and I can't even move my fingers they're so stiff with cold. My brain sends the signals to my feet, telling them to move, but my mind is refusing to allow it. Trying to reassure myself that opening my heart to a woman is a good idea is proving difficult. Especially when my heart is normally as cold as my body is now and the woman in question is Connie Beauchamp.

Biting the bullet, I open the car door and it takes a great deal of effort just to clamber out of the car, my limbs like lead as they adjust to moving again. I close the door and lock the car, struggling as my hands are still icicles. I look up at the tall building, at each of the individual homes. It's a strange perception but it's remarkable how much Connie's apartment represents her as a person. Stylish, classy, beautiful and high maintenance I'm sure.

I shouldn't even be here. She doesn't know that I know where she lives. I stumbled across her address once while in her office - it was on the top of a document on her desk. That was a while ago. Somehow, I still remember it like it was yesterday.

I'm standing in front of the buzzer system. A young, suited and booted man left the block a few minutes ago, holding the door open for me. I felt rude not taking it, but I wasn't quite ready to face Ms Beauchamp just then. I'm still not ready.

The number four on the keypad is staring back at me, willing me to press it. A bitter wind blows as I rub my arms, as if nature's nagging at me for choosing not to wear a coat in mid October. My index finger hovers over the numbers. A violent shiver takes hold of me; maybe my subconscious is shaking me, trying to force me into ringing the buzzer, for the sake of my health if nothing else as I'm certain I'm developing pneumonia.

The squeal of car brakes behind me shatters the quiet of the evening and I jump out of my skin. The shock throws me forward and the finger that had been poised over the keypad presses the button. I take a step back and squeeze my eyes shut tightly as I wait for Connie to answer. I curse under my breath as there's an incredibly long silence.

"Hello?" Connie's sultry voice floats through the intercom. I melt on the spot.

"Erm, hi. It's Jac. Naylor." I manage.

"Jac? Come in." I open the door as she presses the buzzer to let me in. The warmth hits me immediately, covering me like a blanket. I flick the light switch in the dark corridor and attempt to find my way around the block.

The number four on the apartment door gleams at me. I was hoping it would take me longer to find Connie's, to give me more time to order my thoughts. No such luck. With one more deep breath, I gently tap on the door.

She opens it. I can feel my eyebrows rise as I take in her appearance. She's wearing a simple red V neck with dark blue jeans. I must say she really suits the casual look. She takes a step back, wordlessly inviting me into her home. I take in my surroundings. The ornate fireplace in the living room is just like I imagined. I'm taken aback by the photo of Connie and Michael on their wedding day though. I would've thought she'd want no reminders of him, after their split and his behaviour. Maybe she still cares for him. Maybe I shouldn't be here.

"What can I do for you?" She asks, breaking me from my reverie as she takes a seat. She indicates I take the chair opposite her, so I do. What I'd like Connie to do is say that she's noticed the chemistry between us too and she feels the same about me as I feel for her. Like anything could ever be that damn easy.

"I've thoroughly enjoyed working alongside you this past week," I find myself saying. "I've learnt a lot from you." You could say that again.

"I'm glad. I believe we make a great team." She replies, in a tone that gives nothing away.

"I think so too. Holby won't be the same without you whilst you're away." I won't be the same without you whilst you're away.

"I'm sure the hospital will run just fine without me. I've left it in safe hands." I've been picking at a loose thread on my top since I sat down, which hasn't gone unnoticed by Mrs Beauchamp.

"Is everything alright?" I look into her eyes for the first time since my impromptu visit. She has unusually beautiful eyes. I can't find the words to reply.

"Can I get you a drink? Tea, coffee, something stronger?" Her kindness surprises me.

"Coffee, please." I stutter a little.

"Milk? Sugar?" She walks to the kitchen.

"No, thanks." A strong cup of black coffee is exactly what I need right now.

There's a long silence as Connie makes the drinks. Coffee with milk and two sugars for her, just how she likes it. Maybe one day I'll be able to make her a coffee, and bring it to her with breakfast in our bed. Don't run before you can even walk, Jac.

She hands me the mug and I mutter a thank you.

"Don't take this the wrong way Jac but, why are you here?" I knew she was going to ask that question sooner or later but I'd prefer it was later.

"Like I said, I've enjoyed working with you." Not a lie, but not the reason I am here.

"And like I said, we make a good team." Make, she's using the present tense. I guess that's something.

"Good. I meant what I also said, I really have learnt a lot from you this week." More than she'd ever know.

"Well, I'm glad you've benefited from the experience." She's keeping a straight face as she always does. I wish she gave more away.

"I certainly have." Take the bull by the horns, Jac. "I've learnt a lot about myself, too."

"Right." She seems confused, understandably. I can feel my metaphorical feet getting colder by the second.

Taking a sip of the boiling coffee does nothing to warm those feet, but it gives me an extra few moments to think of how to word what I need to say.

"Holby will miss you while you're on holiday." I'll miss you while you're on holiday.

"That's very kind of you to say so. But my replacement is more than competent." I can sense her frustration – her eyes are practically screaming at me to just spit it out.

"It won't be the same as having you around though."

"Why?" It was inevitable that she was going to ask that at some point but I still wasn't prepared for it.

"You're a true professional, well respected by colleagues and patients alike. There's no one else at Holby with that status." I bluff. She sees through it.

"I'm honoured you think that but we're going round in circles here Ms Naylor, why are you here?" I think she's beginning to lose patience with me, I can't say I blame her.

Do I even know why I'm here? Sure, I'd love to tell her how I honestly feel. I'd love to tell Connie Beauchamp that she's the most beautiful woman I've ever set eyes on. I'd love to tell her that she's on my mind every second of every day. I'd love to tell her that I believe I'm falling madly in love with her, although I always thought I was heterosexual. It's so much to take in and even I can't comprehend it – so how can I expect Connie to understand it?

"Why are you here?" Her seductive voice is ringing in my ears.

How do I answer her question?

"Because I love you."

With the truth.


	6. Chapter 6

_A huge thank you to everyone who has stuck with this story and continued to review. I hope you've enjoyed reading it as much as I've enjoyed writing it._

"I beg your pardon?" I'm not sure if she's saying that in a 'how dare you cross the line like that?' manner or whether she simply wants me to repeat myself. I'm suspecting the former but desperately hoping for the latter.

Despite how painfully difficult I found it to say those few simple words, I force myself to say them one more time.

"I said – because I love you, Connie."

**I have been searching for your touch  
Unlike any touch I've ever known  
And I never thought about you much  
Till I'm broken down and all alone, oh **

I receive no reply for Ms Beauchamp. I'm not sure what I was expecting her to do or say, but I'm a little shocked none the less.

"I know this is a massive shock for you, it was for me as well. I had no idea I was anything other than heterosexual until I began working with you and feeling like this. It hasn't been easy for me to say this, far from it; I've never told anybody that I love them. In fact, I don't think I've ever spoken so honestly to anybody." I've no idea where the courage came from for me to be able to deliver that little speech. Who'd have thought it – Jac Naylor opens her heart and discovers it's not made of ice? Is this what love does to people?

**Though I don't understand the meaning of love  
I do not mind if I die trying, oh  
Took it for granted when you lifted me up  
**

"I can appreciate that this can't have been easy for you." She responds calmly, too calmly. I can sense a hint of cold in her tone.

"I've admired you since the first moment I saw you at Holby. I have nothing but respect for you and your work. I'm sure you're fully aware of how much of an inspiration you are to us mere mortals known as registrars." I try to throw a dash of humour into the equation in the hope of her replying. My attempt fails. I bite the metaphorical bullet.

"I'm going to do something which I have never even thought of doing before, in my life. I'm going to lay my heart on the line, pardon the cliché. Once I've said all I need to say, I'll leave." Connie still remains silent and pokerfaced. So I continue.

"Like I said, I have never told anybody that I loved them before, simply because I have never experienced love. Until now, that is. Working closely with you has been an honour and a privilege. You've enabled me to become a better registrar and a better person. I've realised just how alike we are, deep down you have to admit that you and I are fairly similar. We're both determined, driven women, to focused on our careers to think about how lonely we are. I bet you any money you don't like coming home to the emptiness, the microwaveable meals for one, the boring nights watching meaningless television, exactly the same as I do. Granted you've got Grace but, forgive me if I'm wrong, it's not the same as that special someone to share the evenings with, right?"

Again I can't tell what she's thinking or how she's feeling. Taking another of many deep breaths that night, I carry on.

"You have so many qualities which I admire, Connie. You're focused, hard working, reliable, honest, strong, witty...when I think about it, you are literally my ideal...woman."

Saying that sentence sends the shockwaves over me once again and stops me in my tracks – I'm confessing my love, for another woman, least of all Connie Beauchamp? My career, my life could be in tatters because of this. Those high and mighty are desperately trying to find reasons to sack well-paid members of staff and I decide to add a huge vat of fuel to the already uncontrollable fire. Well done Jac, that foot-in-mouth syndrome of yours really does know when to rear its ugly head.

**I'm asking for your help  
I am going through hell  
Afraid nothing can save me but the sound of your voice  
You cut out all the noise  
And now that I can see mistakes so clearly now  
I'd kill if I could take you back  
**

"I'm sorry...for saying all that, for barging in on you..." I rise from the seat, placing my barely touched coffee cup on the table as I head for the door. "Sorry."

"Wait..."

My hand reaches for the door handle when I hear a voice not so far behind me, causing me to turn around. I'm standing just a few metres opposite the woman who I've fallen in love with. I silently plead that she's about to reveal her true feelings for me and wrap her arms around me. That's something I never thought I'd say.

"I'll see you in a few weeks, Jac."

**But how?**

That's something I really hoped she wouldn't say.

**But how?**


End file.
